Freak Out -- lil' e

Things My Mom Does That Freak Me Out:

1.  Demands I give her money from my piggy bank (which is strangely a brown elephant) when I destroy Eden's things.

2.  Hangs me upside down like a bad in the closet (well, maybe she doesn't but she says she will)

3.  Takes away technology when SHE says I don't listen to her words and she won't change her mind no matter how much I insist I didn't hear her.

4.  Makes me eat with a fork (what??! hands are waaaaay more efficient)

5.  Straps me into a car seat from which I cannot escape while in my underwear and lion shirt while I scream and threaten to escape out of the car from the other door since she childproofed my door after I opened it while we were driving down the street -- all because she wouldn't let me stay home from school!!

Things My Mom Wishes Freaked Me Out:

1.  Threatening me to listen to her words by saying she's going to take away my dessert for life.

2.   Telling me I will get no technology time if I don't eat my vegetables.

3.  Informing me I could've died if Jessica wouldn't have been there to help me up to the surface after I dove to the bottom of their 6 foot pool and ran out of air on the way back up.  I assured her next time I wouldn't run out of air.  (She didn't seem pleased until informing me I would have no more swim lessons if I continued to dive down to the bottom of their pool - of which I acquiesced because I've been talking about swim lessons with Jessica for the ENTIRE fall, winter and spring!)

4.  Informing me I could fall over our second floor balcony if my pillow fort fell over the wrong way since it was taller than the railing.  I quickly assured her it would never fall over because I had learned after the last won dumped me into the window, for which I was somewhat disappointed it didn't break.  She again informed me if I didn't live by her parameters, she wouldn't allow balcony forts.  (What an overly anxious mother I have!)

5.  Cautioning me not to ride a mini-wagon down the slide.  (Here, I wished I'd listened to her.  It hurt.)

Things I Do to Freak My Mom Out:

1.  Spitting out my ice cream sprinkles back into my bowl after they have been in my mouth to save until the very end.  She especially squeals when it involves spit.

2.  Making a beautiful picture on my wooden chair and table that didn't scrub off.  (I assured her I'd want it always so it didn't matter it wouldn't come off.)

3.  Doing forward rolls off the couch

4.  Running around without clothes when Eden has her friends over.  I really don't see what the big deal on this one is....

5.  Dropping the food I don't want to eat on the floor so I don't have to, you know, eat it.


To discuss what I do with the cats would take up way too much time....so I'm skipping that subject.

Later,

lil' e

7 Sayings for Getting Me Tickled AND Making My Mom Mad -- lil e

Lent is upon us.  I'm thrilled.  I gave up doing the dishes because we are supposed to give up something that is really hard, and doing dishes is, and it is something I did every day.

I can't wait until next year when I get to pick another hard things to give up.

My Mom, however, isn't so lucky.  She's given up sugar and I couldn't be more thrilled.  This has meant a lot more Girl Scout cookies for me and Big E.  I've come up with a number of sayings already that will get her both mad at me so she tickles me all at the same time.

1.  "Mom, I saved a piece of Valentine's candy for you."
      "You did?"
      [dramatic pause]
      "Just kidding."

2.  "Mom, Dad brought you back a frozen yogurt from Tutti Fruitti."
     "I can't wait.  What kind?"
     "Mom, you gave up sugar you can't eat that!  I'm just kidding anyways."

3.  "Mom.  This thin mint is so good.  Do you see that I'm eating the whole bag and you don't get any?"

4.  "I can't wait for dessert tonight.  What are you going to have?"
     "I'm going to eat all of your candy."
     "No you're not.  You're just kidding.  You can't eat any sugar but I'M going to eat lots while you watch."

5.  "Mom, I'm not going to have dessert either."
     [dramatic pause]
     "just kidding."

6.  "Mom, do you see how all the cookies are almost gone?  You're not going to get any by the time lent if over."  (I can't help but smile on this one.)

7.  "Mom, do you want me to get you a dessert?  Oh wait, you can't have any.  Guess I'll have to eat yours."

This is the bestest time of year!  Did I mention that I can't wait for Lent next year?

Later,

lil e

Observing Lent -- Big E

We observe lent in our house.  Every year it's a struggle to first of all decide, do I add something or do I take it away and then secondly to decide, what? after first part is decided.

lil e and I decided this was our best year yet in the brainstorming phase.

Giving Up

Big E:
doing the dishes
cleaning the kitty litter
helping of any kind
picking up any clothes that are consistently on my floor
closing the dresser drawers that mysteriously are open when I come back in the afternoon

lil e:
listening to Mom's words (and Dad's too)
helping Daddy when he asks
doing chores for free
brushing my teeth
doing the dishes
"I won't shoot you dead, Mommy."  (to which Dad said maybe he needed to give up Pop music thanks to Maroon 5)

Both of us:
Bathing!!!!
(It is sooo overrated!)

Adding

Both of us:
Dessert three times a day
Getting paid to be a part of this family
Technology all day, every day
Legos, Legos and More Legos
Staying Up and Not going to bed (ADDING waking hours of the day)

Unfortunately, our parents didn't see any of these as options.

So, I, Big E will be giving up complaining (which will be sooo easy because let's face it, I never do it -- at least I never notice when I do it).  lil e, he thinks he's given up doing the dishes for which he is thrilled about and nothing else seems to have taken root as "counting for giving up."  He's thrilled and I'm, well, I'm not so thrilled.  I can't believe my parents aren't making him pick something else.  That is so easy.  That is not hard at all.  And that is so not fair.  Ooops.  Do you think this counts?  Surely writing complaints doesn't count.  We never said anything about writing them, or even thinking them, so I can't be breaking Lent (can I?) on this first day!?

Peace,

Big E

Now that I'm Five -- lil e

I've discovered a five year old mind is a bit smarter, more persuasive when you are only four.  While it's a bit hard to explain let me illustrate using examples.

Four year old mind:
M: Elisha we don't jump on the couch.
E:  How can you see me?  I wasn't 'cause you can't see me. 
M:  I can see everything.  We don't jump on the furniture.
E:  Why not?  I'm not hurting anything.  I'm not breaking anything.  This seems like a good idea.
M:  Don't argue with me.  What do you say?
E:  Oh mom.  Why not?
M:  Do you want a time out?
E:  No.  Okay. (sigh) Yes, Mom.  I won't jump on the furniture.

As a five year old:
M: Tell me why jumping from the table to the bean bag isn't okay.
E:  Pause before talking. What are you talking about?  It's okay.  It's fun.  I feel like I'm flying.  Um. 
                    Um.  Because I could hurt the bean bag?
M:  Very good.  That's right.
E:  But Mom.  It isn't going to pop.  It has room in it and it won't pop.  Do you want me to show you?
M:  Listen.  Are we supposed to even get up on the table?
E:  No.
M:  Do we put our feet on the table?
E:  No.  So can I put it at the bottom of the stairs?  I won't be on the table.
M:  Go find something else to play.  I don't want you jumping on the bean bag.
E:  There is nothing else to play.
M:  Then you need to go into your room until you come up with something.
E:  Oh, Mom.  I just thought of something.  I'm going to look in the garbage to see if I can make a new invention so I can throw it down the stairs with a napkin parachute.

I can definitely see five has it's advantages.

Later,

lil e

Snuggly - lil' e

Snuggly!  My sleep pal and partner in crime!
 

Snuggly is so funny!  She just got caught trying to climb up the blinds.

So, my mom let me know I'm spelling Snuggly wrong but you know what, I like the two 'g's' so it stays! 

Snuggly and I have been doing some real bonding.   I tempt her by putting food on the counter so she wants to get up and eat it.  Then, I grab the squirt bottle and squirt her.  It's amazing because Mom never lets me use a squirt gun in the house.

Snuggly also keeps me company when I'm playing my piano.  She jumps on and walks on the keys while I sing and play.  Mom doesn't let this continue very long because she says I'm not learning my new songs.  I, however, reassure her that I'll learn my songs better with Snuggly with me.

There was a time I didn't know if we could keep Snuggly or Princess.  They were climbing up all our leather furniture and scratching on it.  Then there were the cell blinds on the window that Snuggly would jump onto and climb up to the top where my Mom would grab a broom to knock her down.  There was also their attempts to jump on the top of the television, which almost made them a Craig's list post.  However, they seem to be better after they've been put into time outs, squirted with water, and clapped loudly at so it looks like they will continue to be part of the family.

Later,

lil' e

Things to Do with Kittens -- lil e

Our kittens have arrived.  Pictures to follow in another post.  For now let me tell you what I've learned about cats.  I'm especially pleased that they look a bit like lions so I can practice before I get one of those.

Kittens can land on their feet from just about any position.  Flipping them.  Throwing them in the air with or without a twist.  Twirling them.  Flinging them in any direction using wrist creativity.  Before you feel sorry for my kitty, Snuggly, you should know she loves this type of acrobatics.  There are no cries from her so it is very hard to get caught though today my Mom said she would take my kitten away from me if she caught me flipping her in the air again.  Or, maybe it was when I flung my Pooh blanket on it and she couldn't get out, but whatever, she doesn't cry so she must like it.  Even she tries to fling herself onto the blinds from my bed, bat-style.  She hangs upside down from her scratching post.  She even flings her body into a full twist as she leaps onto her sister, Princess.

In order to train kittens to sit like humans you must hold the kitty in that position, like a 'C.'  Snuggly and I are having a difficult time agreeing that this is an important skill.  She doesn't really like it so she cries and then my Mom yells tells me I have to let her go.

Kittens, unlike lions, don't like to sit and have books read to them.

Snuggling is so much fun.  So is picking up the kitty and kissing her, hugging her, and putting her in the dump truck before hurling it across the floor. 

Kittens aren't afraid of jumping out of hurling dump trucks.

Kittens don't like Lego houses, not soft enough.

Kittens love sleeping in their crate but not being locked into their crate.

I love kittens.  I love lions more, but for now, I'll take my kitten.

Later,

lil e

Now that I'm 4 1/2 -- lil e

Now that I'm moving closer to five, there are several things I've learned but one that I want to focus on now...letting your needs be known.  As I'm getting to know myself better and really understand what I like and don't like, I'm finding it's really important to let my Mom know these things, too.

For example, asking for my needs when I'm aware of them...

Me:  "My legs are really tired."
Mom: "I'm sorry you're legs are tired."
Me (my voice gets even slower and deeper, like I'm really tired):  "I need to play on the i-pad that helps them sleep and get rested then they'll feel better."
Mom: "No.  Go play."
Me (pleading): "I might fall down the stairs they are sooo tired.  I need the i-pad."
Mom:  "Crawl backwards down the stairs if you need to, but no i-pad."
Me: pleading a few more times, then eventually crawling down the stairs -- face first, of course.  Backwards is for wimps.

Reminding my Mom, who's boss...

"God gives me ideas, Mom.  He tells me what to do.  You don't."

Developing Self- Esteem...

"My name should be 'Cutie Cheeks.'  Look at how cute this shirt looks on me."

Ambitions and Visions...

Me:  "I really, really, really want a lion, Mom."

Mom:  "Lions are in Africa."

Me: "When I'm five, you need to take me to Africa."

Mom: "I don't think we'll be able to do that."

Me: "If you don't take me then I'm going to jump on a shark and go all the way across the ocean.  Then I'm going to get a baby lion and put it on my back and the shark will take us back home."

Mom: "Lions grow up to have very big teeth and they could eat you."

Me:  "I'm going to read to my lions, Mom.  They won't eat me.  They be nice."

Mom:  "I think they will miss their family."

Me: "No they won't.  I'll be their family.  And Mom, we're reading the 'Three Little Pigs.'  They won't miss them at all."

Be strong and assertive.

Later,

lil e