Biting -- Little E

Yesterday was hard. I got spanked. I couldn't help it. I bit my mom five times and my dad once. It was just too much to process without biting: Grammy's leaving, my mom coming back into my life, the anticipation of Papa and Mimi visiting later this week. I was distressed. My mom needed to let me do what I wanted so I wouldn't be forced to bite her. It wasn't my fault she wouldn't let me kick the cat and pull its tail. If she would have ignored the situation, then no biting would have happened.

It wasn't my fault that sissy wouldn't share her new notebook with me. This required me first to jump on her, then pull her hair and then finally bite my mom as I was going to my time out. Again, if I could have had the notebook all of this would have been avoided.

It also wasn't my fault that I wanted to throw my cereal across the table and on the floor. It was so cool watching it spread across the table, and the sound was so exciting. Joy robber mother put me in a time out for having cereal fun so I just couldn't resist biting her arm as we went into time out. How fair is that with her arm in front of my mouth? What else am I supposed to do with it there?

Then there was the bite because she wasn't letting me eat on the couch, the bite because I wanted to communicate "I love playing with you" as I was climbing on her back for a piggyback ride and for daddy, the bite for sticking me in time out because I was climbing on the back of the couch. (He too, stuck his arm right there to bite!)

If only my parents would see that when I get a spanking, I feel really bad. I hate feeling bad. On top of it all, I have to give a hug, say sorry, say "I love you" and go over why spankings happened. It's a real drag and waste of my time. If they only realized that all of it, the whole cycle, could end with them and their choices. It's not about my decision to bite, it's all about them and their choice to give me a spanking.

I'm sure if they would just let me be as I want and allow me to have what I want, then I will just naturally be transformed into a loving person.

Don't all puppies bite? I'm like that. There is nothing wrong with it. It's in my genetics, which controls me! AND my mom and dad gave me these genes. They need to take some responsibility here!

I want my Grammy.

She gave me what I wanted.

More Grammy! -- Little E

I've been way too busy to post -- Grammy visited! She knows how to love me. The first day she got here, we went for ice cream. I got not one scoop but TWO scoops. Of course, I had to eat my chicken before we went but I NEVER get two scoops with my mom and dad. The second day, I got a new ball and a new truck movie! The third day, we went to the beach (my favorite place) and played in the sand. I got all wet and shivered. The next day, we did whatever I wanted...played with trucks, cards, went for a walk.

Grammy visited because my mom had to work for four days. After the second day, I told my mom, "Mommy more work! More Grammy!" I was extremely disappointed when we took her to the airport last night. I screamed "MORE AIRPORT" as we drove away. Today, I told my mom while we were playing Cariboo, "All done. Mommy all done? More work?" I don't think she got my hint -- I want Grammy, not her.

I'm very upset Grammy is not here anymore. She's left me with mommy. Mommy is NOT fun. I can't get into snacks and eat them whenever I want. She makes me sit at the table to eat. She doesn't let me throw my food! She makes me pick up my toys after I play with them. (REALLY! I'm only two!!!) And worst of all, when I ask in a nice tone of voice -- with please -- I don't necessarily get what I want!!! This is very troublesome. If soft please doesn't get it, then I scream, "PLEASE" in case it was a hearing problem or "not attending to me" issue. If that doesn't work, I stomp my foot and say it more. Shockingly, I may not get what I want. Or if I do, I have to say it nicely (as if I didn't in the beginning!!!).

Grammy would never have this. She understands that saying please is sooo hard to remember that she gives me what I'm asking for just because I remembered to say please.

I want more Grammy. I didn't bite her once.

Later,

Little E

Bagels, NOW! - Big E

I don't know what happens to bagels in our house. On Monday, we went to Costco and bought TWO bags of bagels. By today, they were all gone. This is so wrong! I asked my mom, "Who ate them all?"

Her answer, "I don't know."

I don't know! What kind of answer is that? If she doesn't know then who does? I think my daddy took some to work. Doesn't he know I LOVE them for my snack? Why should he be able to take some to work when I LOVE them! This is really awful. Who wants toast for a snack? Sure I used to love toast and butter but toast is so yesterday. Next time, I'm going to take my own money so I can buy my own bagels.

I am needing some serious help with my Mom. She is always apologizing for her bad tone of voice - after she has been rude, of course. When she asks me to do something, she really has a hard time asking nicely. She uses a bad tone of voice, especially if Little E isn't listening to her words, which he can do quite often. He gets so much attention. You would think she could at least be nice to me. She doesn't even see me the whole day, then when I get home she tells me to do things. She doesn't even sit down to eat my snack with me. How nice is that?
My self-esteem has been completely bruised. Boy is she going to have to pay when I need therapy!

Then there is the issue of her always hurrying me up to get ready for school in the morning. And, what is she doing? She's on the computer of course. First thing in the morning she goes straight for that computer. It is so boring at the computer. She doesn't seem to notice that I'm eating ALONE, by myself. Who wants that? How rude of her to not come and sit by me! Like I said, my self-esteem is in the pits! No thanks to her.

I did have one shining moment this week when My Uncle B, from the SB Hood, came to visit. He is so silly. He tickled us, did curl ups (using us as weights) and then he did a shoulder press with me. I asked my mom to do it the next day and she said "No." I said, "just try it." She said, "No."

I'm definitely going to go live with Uncle B from the Hood because that cool cat knows how to have fun. Especially with me and Little E! My parents are so old and tired. They are no fun at all.

It's tough being seven. When I'm a mom, I'm definitely going to sit at the table with my children when they eat and I'm for sure going to let them sleep in my bed!

Grammy's visit is up next! I'm sure I'll get some ice cream! And have fun with her, of course! Little E and I can't wait!

Big E

Pull-UPs!

 
I've graduated to Pull-ups! This is a picture of my dog, Woof, Woof, riding in our Pull-Up Train. Only people with pull-ups can ride, and their dogs of course!

Potty training is SOO GOOD. I get chocolate chips for going pee-pee in the potty. Let me tell you how to do it to maximize the number of chocolate chips you can get. First, you go pee pee but make sure it all doesn't come out. Then you eat your chocolate chips, drink some water and wait maybe five minutes. Shout "Pee-Pee" and run to the potty. Then go pee-pee some more. Repeat the cycle as many times as you can get away with it, always drinking more water in between. My dad says grunting helps it come out. I do it. You too can try this at home. Here, it isn't how much you go in the potty; it's the sitting and having some come out that matters. Go get those chocolate chips -- drink water and keep some in!!!!

Another discovery I've made is who needs to get out of bed in the morning to go pee-pee. Just pull off the diaper, aim at shark, and you've gone pee-pee and your shark has "wa-wa" to play in. Everyone's happy. Well, my dad wasn't too happy with me. He said I'd get a spanking the next time I did it. Shark was happy. I just growled.

I'm finding new depths to my creativity. My secret -- wait until Mom is on the phone or in the bathroom. I have discovered orange juice mixed with toast makes the best mountain. It can become balls of hail when thrown on the floor. (Mimi and Grandpa get hail this size where they live.) Ink drawings on chocolate leather looks amazing. It is subtle art, not that contrasty thing like my last helicopter drawing on cotton sheets...this is much more subtle. Creates a nice effect but doesn't get noticed right awaay, so you could lose some fans that way. Abstract cereal art has also been amazing. I've done several pieces that I'm proud of. It's easy to do. Grab a handful of cereal, throw at the table. You don't want to aim high because it will go across the table and onto the floor. Aim it down. You're also more likely to get cereal again if it looks like you're a sloppy eater rather than an artist. So many parents don't understand abstract art. Why bother explaining it?

I'm very mad at Issy. She is still rejecting me. I'm growling at her rather than hitting her when she tells me she doesn't want me around. I confess, I still try to grab her hair but her hands are longer than mine and it's difficult to get her when she stiff arms me. Sometimes, I use the delay tactic where she forgets I'm in the room, then I run up and grab. I usually get a time out but it is SO worth it.

My Grammy is visiting me soon. I'm very excited.

Later,

Little E

I Have Fans, Too!

 
I want a new family. I am NOT appreciated. First of all, I am the only one in my family who doesn't have six letters in their name. This is definitely an indication I do not belong! Second, I am treated like hired help. After being in school all day, I have to pick up clothes, put away clean clothes, clean up dishes after dinner, make my bed, and the list can go on and on. I DO NOT get much alone time! AND I do so much more than Little E. He gets to run around and play while I'm working. They love him so much more. I do not belong in this family.

I belong OUT. You can see by my picture, I have fans! Here, I'm signing autographs on the red carpet. This picture was taken at a rare moment when I could get out and be away from my family. This was the MAJOR Hollywood event called 'Jessica's 7th Birthday Party." It was big. Bet you read about it People or US. I was there, with my fans and paparazzi, right along side Jessica -- WHO IS HUGE with tween fans. I didn't even have to be picked up by my mom until the morning. It was bigtime good.

Like I said, living in this family, I'm stifled. Thank goodness all freedoms haven't been taken away. I have way too many restrictions. Who goes to bed at 8 pm anyways! And who has to listen to country music in the car? OR, even worse, have the music off so we actually have to talk with one another. Please! I can't wait to get out.

Oh my goodness, I've got a story to tell you! I was scared at 5 am the other day. I heard unfamiliar noises so I went to get in bed with my mom and dad. Do you think they cared? No Way!!! They sent me back into my bedroom and on top of it all, I got my dessert taken away! I didn't do what they said I did -- wake them up every 10 minutes. I waited in my room for HOURS before going back into their room and asking to get into their bed. It was so ridiculous (ridiculous of the bad kind). I was so scared and they didn't care!! I'm so going to need therapy when I'm older. I hope they have a fund. They're going to have to pay big time.

Thank you for your faithful reading. It helps knowing that I have fans out there who feel me, if you get what I'm saying.

Bestest of Friends,

Big E

The Beach

 

For Memorial Day we went to the beach. I had sooo much fun. The waves were swelling, knocking me down. I jumped and splashed in them. I got some air between the sand and my feet! Next year, I'll probably be able to be surfing, like my friend, Ian's dad. In case you don't know, wet sand is the best to throw. Ian taught me this at the beach. It goes farther than dry sand. But really, I'll throw any kind of sand I can, that is before my mom catches me and shuts that operation down. She can be a real joy robber sometimes.

This reminds me of another throwing operation that got shut down. This weekend, my issy and I were shredding papers for my mom who has been cleaning out her file cabinet. Issy put the paper in and I watched it fall through the clear window in the shredder. It was all going well. We even filled it up once so we opened the drawer and I grabbed my first handful. The paper is so soft and it goes everywhere when you throw it. But my dad told me, "Don't throw the paper, E." Then he took it and threw it away. Well after more shredding, eventually everyone left and went to get dinner ready. Still interested in the paper but not wanting to disobey my dad, I expertly slid out the shredder drawer and turned it over. Paper went all over my feet, it was so light and soft. I couldn't help but jump and kick the pile. All the fun without throwing it! I couldn't contain my squealing or jumping. You can imagine my great surprise when my dad came in and started yelling, "No, No, No, No, E." Maybe he was sad that he didn't get to kick the biggest pile. Whatever the case, we put the paper back in the container together and then we ate dinner.

Just to make sure we were all cool, I ate all my dinner -- as long as the family did the helicopter clap on my demand....you know the clap where you whirl your fingers up and down, like a helicopter and then clap. We do it every night just so I'll eat and get dessert. I really bring the family together.

I love helicopters. They go up and down.

Later,

Little E

Here's My Story -- Big E

Here's my story I promised. I wrote it at school.

I was Happy
by Big E

Last Summer I went to Washington with my family. When I got there I was thinking I was going to have fun because there were 3 kittens! The next day I woke up urly. I sneaked in my mom’s room and put my close on. No one saw me. I went down stairs quitly. I could only hear the comperter. I walked to the front door and put my flip flops on and went out the door. The door ware the kittens sleep was closed so the kittens wouldn’t get eaten by ciotes. It was cold so I ran to the door ware the kittens sleep. I opened and shut the door the white door. I said, “hello Kittens.”

The Kittens woke up. They jumped down and went to go get water and food. I picked up the smallest kitten named Siam. She is my favorite cind of cat. The kind of cat she is is a Siamees cat. She doesn’t like me because she is not youst to me. I picked up another cat that was black. He struggled out of my hands just like Siam did. His name was Max. Then I picked up the 3rd kitten she was white and orange. She did not wiggle on my hands. She was just right. Her name was kind of funny but my cousin made it up. She is vary creative. Her name is Jigbee. I figred Siam was the meanest and Max was in the mittill and Jigbee was the nighsest. I said, “by Kittens.”

I went back into the house. People were still asleep. I looked in the books. I started to read a good book. When I finished I just sat on the couch. I herd I sound coming from my Mimi and Grandpa’s room! Then I saw my grandpa coming out. I whispered, “Hello, Grandpa.”

My grandpa said, “Well hello there.” He said, “Did you look at the Kittens today?” I said, “Yes.”

My grandpa and I looked out the window ware the golf cors was and ware the pond was too. My Grandpa sat in his chair.

When the second last day arrive I went cioty hunting with my grandpa. I got to sit in the front seat. Me and my grandpa didn’t have to be buckled in. We came to a stop there was no ciotes. We went home. My mom and my grandma said, “Did you catch anything?”

We said, “No.”

That is the story when I was very happy.