I'm Cute! Part II -- Little E

On Friday, my dad and I were walking across the street, I had one hand on my hip and one holding his hand because I’m not big enough to walk across by myself. I had my signature strut going on, it happens when I’m going fast, which is most of the time. My blonde hair radiated in the setting sun, while my body looked RIDICULOUS in my maroon ‘Detroit Rocks” long sleeve T with guitars and my dark gray shorts with skulls and spiky embellishments both by Monster Republic, a designer in LA. My feet were sporting my dragon lizard Tevas. Of course, I had a smile because Issy was getting ready to play a recital at the coffee shop where we were going. I was just minding my own business when a woman rolled down her car window before making her turn and said to my dad, “Your son is SO cute.” I waved. She smiled even more and waved back at me. I'm already stopping traffic with my style and smile. I can see cuteness may be a challenge.

Just to note, Issy did great at her recital but I was very upset I didn’t get a turn. So I let my mom know by shouting, “My turn! My turn! My turn!” as Issy’s teacher was singing. It didn’t work but maybe next time if I run up there I’ll get my turn. Anyways, I bet she hasn’t stopped traffic by her cuteness!

My mom hasn't done laundry in weeks. I can't even shut my hamper. She obviously doesn't see it needs to be done. So I helped her out. Piece by piece, I carried all our dirty clothes out to the living room while she was cooking dinner. I did NOT get it when she made me carry it all back so I refused. Luckily my dad helped me. Since it was still overflowing, I decided to hang up the clothes. It was hard and most everything just fell off the hangers as soon as I tried to hang it up. However, Issy's underwear hung up perfectly! It felt good to be productive. I wish my mom could get the feeling then maybe I wouldn't have to wear pants that fall down and I could match. If it weren't for my smile and wave, she could ruin my cuteness factor!

My artistic talent was unstoppable this week as I experimented with another medium -- drawing in liquids on wood. I made several paintings of orange juice on kitchen table wood – all “ga-gas” (more commonly known as helicopters) but my mom didn’t even appreciate them! She destroyed them with her washcloth and told me I couldn’t draw with my juice. So I compromised and did it with water. It worked brilliantly—more “ga-gas!” My self-esteem however suffered a major blow, destroyed again by mom and ANOTHER time-out. I’m really going to need some therapy when I grow up!

Now, I’m off to the beach for sand fun, my absolute favorite in the whole world. I’ll likely stop people from playing with my cuteness – shark shorts and a surf shirt, not to mention my gaze drawing smile and captivating wave. Plus NO timeouts. I mean, whoever heard of a time out at the beach?

Later,

Little E

Big E -- Part II

I love music. My Grandpa D gave me the best birthday present EVER, an ipod. Well I recently discovered the radio option and listened to all these songs that my mom doesn't let me hear on the car radio. I noticed, because I'm a noticer, lots of these songs had the word 'sex.' I didn't know what sex is. So I asked my mom last night at dinner, "Mom, what's sex?" My mom said, "Ask your Dad." So I did. He didn't answer my question and kept going on about what I was going to have for dessert. (But I hadn't even finished my vegetables yet so I wasn't interested in dessert.) My parents are SO distractable. They weren't answering my question. So I asked my mom again. She said, "It is an action between a man and a woman." OKay? I said, "But how do you know what action it is?" She said, "It's a specific action." I wonder if that's what my dad does to my mom when he comes home from work and they're in the kitchen. Anyways, back to me, my mom told me I couldn't listen to the radio anymore on my ipod. That is so not fair!

I really don't need my mom. Alls she does when I come home is stand in front of her computer. I have to ask her for a snack at least three times and still she goes back in front of her computer. I would starve if I didn't keep asking her. It is so annoying.

Then, there is the issue of my brother, who keeps getting into things she asks him not to. Well, she doesn't do anything about it. She just yells from the computer for him to stop. As if that is going to help! So then I have to stop what I'm doing, get up, and take care of the problem. Talk about being annoyed!

Well when she finally gets off her computer, she asks me to clean out the silverware in the dishwasher. This is so not fair. I'm so tired from school and what has she been doing all day? Standing in front of the computer? I think so. The house is still a mess, there are dishes STILL in the sink, and she didn't clean out the dishwasher BEFORE I got home. So, to make sure she doesn't do this again, I have to stomp my feet, slap my hands against my legs and cry, "WHY DO I HAVE TO DO MORE WORK? I HAVEN'T HAD ANY ALONE TIME TODAY. THIS IS NOT FAIR!" If she still makes me do it (which she does) I then slam the silverware around and pout. This may get me in more trouble, but it's worth it. Do you think I ask to be in gymnastics, piano, Spanish AND dance. I'm so overworked and they don't care at all. I still have to pick up my bedroom, make my bed, set the table and help with the dishes. Talk about losing my childhood. This too is annoying.

Then there is the issue about my sleep. I sleep about 10 minutes a night because it takes me so long to go to sleep. Little E screams and screams when he goes to bed. Even last night he started screaming, "Mommy, come! Mommy pease come! Mommy come!" about 50 times then when she didn't come he said "Daddy come! Daddy come! Daddy come!" about 50 more times. They didn't even say a word! They didn't try to stop him. So I had to yell at them, "You guys, PLEASE! I told you this was going to happen. This is why I wanted to sleep in your bed tonight. This is NOT fair. I hate sleeping with Little E." Finally, my dad came and Little E went to sleep. By then, it was too late for me and I couldn't fall asleep forever. I would've gotten WAY more sleep if they would've let me sleep in their bed. It's so not fair.

Today is a great day because I get to play with friends after school! Finally, it is my one free day. I'm so overscheduled.

Hoping to sleep in mom and dad's bed tonight,

Big E

P.S. I really will publish the story I mentioned in my last blog. I'm too busy to do it now. I have so many responsibilities and everything, especially with my brother. I have to watch him so much since my mom just stands at her computer. It's lucky we have dinner on the table every night.

I'm Cute! -- Little E

Today, I'm Cute! Yep, sissy's valet lady told me, "You're so cute," as I waved to her today with a big smile. Then, my mom dragged me to the Half-Yearly Nordstroms' sale and I got "You're so cute" all over again. I wore my turquoise headband that goes with my eyes. The assistants dug it. I even got offered a balloon and I didn't see any other people my size packing a balloon. They must save them for the cute ones. I got to march around with my balloon out of the stroller. Things were going great until my mom got uptight around the ceramic piggy banks. I wanted the baseball pig and my mom moved my hand away, then my body away, then she picked me up and we left that area. I was not happy and screamed the whole time until she let me push the stroller. I was on my best behavior though, no biting! Back to the piggy, it is so unfair. Sissy has a purple pig that holds her money. I should have one, too!

Let me tell you. My mom thinks she is the boss of me, but yesterday I showed her. We were in the backyard for a few minutes before sissy went to gymnastics. She wouldn't let me play in the wa-wa. I was not happy but went along with her ball throwing games. Then, she went inside to do sissy's hair. I went into motion. I found some mud and put it all over my arms and in between my fingers. I love that slurping, sucking sound. Not only does mud sound great, but my mom always washes off the mud with the hose. Outside. With the wa-wa that she said I couldn't play in. So, when she came out to get me and take sissy, she found out just how smart I was. We played in the wa-wa taking off the mud. I was smiling and she, well, she wasn't.

Have I told you I can play some hoops? Well I can. Today I was 6 for 6 if you don't count all the times I missed. I had some action going on. My moves were smooth. I'd shoot. It swished. (Well maybe not all the time but it makes a better story). I'd put my hands on my waist and run around in a circle, stop, pause briefly to give my fans a better look, then keep running in a circle. It was all good. Then, I lost my touch. I'd shoot, it would hit the rim. My mom wasn't helpful at all. She kept saying, "Look at the basket." What did she think I was looking at, the ground? Please! I'm so not a beginner. Anyways, I couldn't get it together. So I stomped. I bent over and put my head between my feet. I spit. I spread out my spit. Then I got over it. I stood up and made 4 for 4 with NO misses. That is perseverance in the face of great suffering. It feels good to be me.

Later,
Little E

Reflections on Me, Little E

I can’t help it. I’m adorable. I’m not bragging. People say that. Today for instance, the valet helper at sissy’s school, told my mom, “He’s so adorable.” I wave at her every morning. Yesterday, at Costco, a woman working told me, “You’re so adorable.” Then she wouldn’t leave me alone. She kept sticking her face in my face. I was belted into the cart so I twisted around to my mom saying, “Out! Out!” But she didn’t protect me. She was busy putting items on the belt saying, “I can’t get you out. We have to hurry so we won’t be late to get sissy.” Did she not see it? I was being harassed! You'd think she had never been trained in psychology. Missed that one! I am so unprotected, no wonder I bite!

Then, there was last week when I was talking to Mrs. Binkley about the garbage truck. She told me, too. AND she wasn’t even distracted while I was talking to her. She just looked at me the whole time smiling, laughing and nodding her head. I think she likes garbage trucks too. I mean, what’s not to like, “up to trees, pick up, boom” amazing!

Let me tell you when I think I’m adorable – when I sing! I got some pipes! My favorite song is “love is my drug.” I have the chorus memorized and I can belt it out when it comes on the radio. The ones I can really sing, well there are just too many to list. I can dance too. My style is a mix between Toy Story’s woody and Michael Jackson – I stump, flap my arms, shrug my shoulders… I got it all! Soon no one will even remember that Justin Beaver guy. It will be all about ‘Little E.’ It sounds good – like B.O.B. and we all know how Ridiculous he is – yeah!(My mom won’t let me listen too many of his songs – she’s a little restrictive that way…just wait until I move out, then I really find myself musically.)

I really need my space. I have to hide to go to the bathroom in private. Today I was subjected to hiding under a footstool. Do you know how low that is? I had to lay down and stick my head under! It was terrible. There is all this pressure to go in the potty. But who needs that? Alls I need is a little privacy. You’d think they could respect that. I can’t wait to move out.

‘nough said.

For now, Little E

Big E

Oh my goodness, I am so mad. Little E is getting all the attention. He has had computer time for TWO blogs and I’ve had none. AND he’s been talking about his fans. It is really quite disgusting.

Let me introduce myself. I’m Big E. I’m 7 ½ years old and in 1st grade. I am good at math, science and reading but I’m not the fastest reader or math worker or the smartest in my class. That’s Amanda. She’s smart!

I love cats. I sleep with lots of cats (stuffed, not real). I have a cat but I don’t like to sleep with her. She gets me too warm. And, I can’t wait to meet Mimi and Papa’s new kittens this summer. I can’t wait! I can’t wait! (I’m jumping up and down, can you see me?) In fact, I wrote a story about the happiest time in my life about last summer when I got to spend time with last year’s kittens, who are now older and big, except Siam who got eaten by a wild animal. Which makes me so sad, I cried. I’ll post my story later.

More about me. I love my brother but it’s so not fair. He gets all the attention. My parents snuggle with him more. They tickle him and laugh with him more than me. He can interrupt when I’m telling stories. I have to share my candy that I get from friends with him. Mommy ALWAYS snuggles with him. Oh my goodness, last night he got to snuggle right between mommy and me when we were reading my favorite, “Where the Sidewalk Ends” (that is such a funny book!). Well he just crawled right over me and snuggled right in between us. I was so mad I hit him in the leg with my hand. Then my mom had the nerve to make me apologize AND stop reading the book. Then little E hit me back, pinched me three times! AND pulled my hair. Do you think he got in more trouble than I did? NO but he did more than me. My mom told me I was older, I know better. But she doesn’t know. He didn’t get in worse trouble because they like him better!

Also, I always have to do homework, piano or Spanish or go to gymnastics or dance. I never get any alone time! I am so overscheduled it is not even fair! And even when I’m done with everything and free to do what I want they make me play with Little E. I like Little E. However, I want to play with him when I want to, not when he wants to. He is always wrecking whatever I make, like, forts, legos, and you know stuff. What fun is that? I make something and he just hits it apart or kicks it and mommy doesn’t even stop him. I get so mad that I just yell at him and say, “E, you are so mean!” That doesn’t even stop him. He is so mean, he doesn’t care that he’s mean. That’s rude and mean! This is what I have to live with. It is so not fair.

I can barely even talk about bed time without getting mad. Little E is always hollering and screaming for mommy or daddy. He’ll yell for “mommy” and she’ll come then he starts yelling for “daddy” while she is holding him. It is SO annoying. I’m so ready to have my own room. Did I mention that? I have to share a room with him. It is so not fair. He is always getting in my stuff and making me so mad. Sometimes, I wish he would just go live somewhere else. Then I just have to remember that he’s the only one that runs and gives me a hug when I come home from school. He calls my name from his bed every morning for me to get him up, “Issy, Issy” he says. It makes me feel so special and then I’m glad all over that he’s my brother and he lives with me.

That’s me, Big E

Yuck MOMents

Yesterday there were some Yuck moments. I fell and hit my elbow when I was pushing in the top dishwasher tray because my mom wasn’t listening to me about building a fort rather than doing the dishes. This made me mad. So when she was trying to comfort me, I tried to bite her. She was not happy so I got a time out. A 5 minute time out. Well after the buzzer she came in to ask me why I was in a time out and all I could think about was my elbow. It was hurting my elbow that started the whole thing. I told her, “elbow go bong, elbow go bong” when she wasn’t responding I raised my voice an octave at the start with elbow and dropped it an octave with bong. To me it had a very convincing ring for explaining why I was in time out but it was as if she couldn’t hear. I then had to flop back down in my bed and yell, “elbow, elbow, elbow.” I even pointed to my elbow. Luckily, my babysitter came so I told my mom “sar-cey” and even signed it to her by pounding my chest with my fist, for emphasis. To let her know I got it and was sorry. Well, sort of. I had no choice but to bite her. She wasn’t listening to my words.

But I’m getting side-tracked, Yuck moments –

there was getting rejected by sissy who wanted her alone time after she finished her homework – AGAIN! This did not go well with me so I climbed onto her bed and threw off all her stuffed animals. Then to make sure she really got I wasn’t happy, I ripped her book. Maybe next time she’ll think about it before she ignores me. Mom made me apologize and pick up all her animals and put them back. It was the worst. She deserved it! It made no sense why I should have to do work when she was the one ignoring me.

Another moment, Daddy told me I couldn’t have any more M&Ms for dessert so while he was filling the bathtub, I ran back to the table and grabbed a handful, putting it in my mouth. I then ran back to the tub but on the way I started choking and had to throw up the entire handful. It was yucky on many levels. Most importantly because I didn’t get to eat any more M&Ms.

Also, getting scratched by the cat because she didn’t want to be my bed. Her fur is so soft. I love to use her as a pillow. It feels so good that I thought using her as a bed would be even better so I climbed on top and she didn’t like that. So she scratched me and I yelled, “AAAaaa” I’m not going to let her be my pillow anymore, that will teach her! Then my mom made me pet her and say I'm sorry. Oh my goodness. It was so hard because I felt like pulling her hair rather than petting her. But I did it, not without a few pulls at first but with my mom's help, I got over the moment.

My final yuck moment was getting put in yet another time out (you’d think my mommy would tire of the extra work of putting me in time out!) for throwing my carrots and cucumbers across the table. I was majorly upset!!! I was practicing for my t-ball class I’m in. I had a perfect ‘L’ position arm and followed through with my throw. She had no right to interfere with it! Boy was I mad. She is such a joy robber. Then she had the nerve to make me pick them up!!! What is it with her and picking things up? Doesn't she know I'm only two?

I definitely don’t want to turn this into a grip session but we really need to help my mom. She just doesn’t get how to have fun.

On Wednesday, I was helping her with the laundry because I’m such a great helper and want her to feel like she can count on me. Well, I thought I would throw a little fun into the mix so I slammed the dryer door when she would throw the wet clothes in. It was so cool. I’d hear a slam (dryer door), followed by a ker-plunk (wet clothes hitting dryer metal) and then a smack as the wet clothes slid onto the floor. It was the greatest thing, such a melody of sounds. Well, my mother did not appreciate the music, she’s into the country garbage so she lacks taste in this arena. I tried it several more time because I thought exposure would sway her but no such luck. In fact, she’s so controlling and against games she put me in yet another time-out. AGAIN!

I can’t wait for the weekend when Dad’s home. He’s way more fun. He takes us to McDonalds and the park. He lets us eat dessert without vegetables. In fact, he doesn’t even give me vegetables when Mom isn’t here. In fact, he never puts me in time out!

If you think of anything, please let me know your ideas of how to bring my Mom up to speed with how to play. I’ve heard laughter is great medicine so I’m hoping to break through her icy exterior and warm her up to play. For now, Little E

Little E

You wouldn’t believe it. I fell on my face, went boom off the chair when Daddy tried to push my chair in. Then, I got to sit on my Daddy’s lap for the entire dinner. It was amazing. It was three days ago. I just can’t stop talking about it. Every time I sit at the table, I have to relive the entire thing…Daddy pulling out the chair, me going boom, me sitting on Daddy’s lap. Amazing. Listen. I need an outlet. My sissy and I hardly get heard from our mother. She is always doing something, especially on her computer. We are sick of not being heard so we’ve decided to blog so the whole world can listen to our stories because someone needs to.

I’m little E. If you ask me how old I am, I’ll say “2” and stick my middle and index fingers up. Technically my mom says I’m 2 ½ but I don’t get that half stuff. Who has half a finger to show? Anyways, my sissy is 7. She’s a half too but she never says that either. She rocks. I like spending time with her but she doesn’t always want to spend time with me. She tells me she’s having alone time. Alone time, what’s that? I have alone time when I’m sitting on the potty, not when I’m in my room. Anyways, I’m learning to respect her space but I’m not very good at it yet. I figure I have a lot of years to grow up so in the meantime, I’m going to try to get away with whatever I can whenever I can.

For instance, I know it’s time to hurry up when my mom says, “No.” I only have a few seconds to finish whatever it is I’m trying to do so I do it very fast. The other day, I was making a surprise for my mom. I heard her in the kitchen banging the dishes so I hurried onto her bed where I found her journal and pen. Then and there I decided to make her the most beautiful picture because she works so hard to take care of me. My artwork was ink drawing on cotton. I was making helicopters for her, “ga-ga” as I call them. Well she walked into the room and you can’t believe her. She had the nerve to tell me “NO!” and dive for the pen. Being almost done, I immediately scribbled the rotor. It wasn’t my best rotor because I needed to hurry. I gave her my brightest smile because I knew she would love it. She didn’t even smile back. I think she said “NO” or something. I tuned her out after that. I can’t handle negativity when it comes to my art career. If she can’t appreciate it, then I’m sure my dad will love it when he gets home. He loves most everything I do. Anyways, she had the nerve to put me in a time out! Can you believe it? Talk about going overboard and bringing me into her negativity. What is this going to do to my self-esteem? A few more episodes like this and I could be scarred for life. I’m definitely going to talk to Dad about this. Who is he leaving me with anyways?

Thank you for reading our blog. I’m sure readers like you can help us set our mother straight. We definitely need some parenting instruction if you know what I mean. We’ll be in touch (my sissy and I that is). Bye-bye. Love, Little E (one part of E squared)