She's Back and I have things to show her! -- lil' e

Finally, my mom returned. She was gone forever. This, of course, has set me up with huge issues when my dad leaves for a trip, like today. On these types of days, I just want to lay on the stairs, naked, and cry making it impossible to use the stairs without seeing me and knowing that I'm in distress. It is awful, really to be abandoned like I've been. The biggest abandonment occurring when I was 11 months old and had surgery, let's just say my parents started a huge therapy fund for later when they need it to recover from parenting me because I'm still working out issues from that event.

My distress is not what I want to talk about. I learned several clever things while she was gone, like how I can pull a chair over to the pantry and grab the desserts while she's in the shower, or how I can wipe my bottom really good with the whole roll of toilet paper, or how I can roll down my window and throw my shoes out while we're stopped at a stop sign. Although I like that my mom returned, it meant that Grammy went home, which was depressing. Grammy took us to Grounds Cafe everyday and gave us chips. My mom passes Grounds Cafe everyday and doesn't take us. Issy and I holler and scream for her to stop, but she doesn't, claiming something more important needs to happen at home and we don't have time. This is hugely disappointing. I've made it clear a number of times that it is also unacceptable. As we drive by, I've unbuckled my main seat belt, the one that holds the car seat in place, so my mom has to at least pull over by Grounds. When this message wasn't gotten, I unbucked my little seat belt, leaned forward, and pulled my mom's hair. The thing is, I get in trouble but it really doesn't matter. I'm a little person with big feelings and it's more important for me to express them, then to sit quiet and take life on my mom's terms.

This leads to greater issues. I have a hole in my tummy that my mom won't put a bandaid on. It is a big enough hole that I can stick my finger in it and the top of my finger disappears. I don't want to have a hole. I don't like this hole. I've asked for a bandaid so many times and my mom refuses. She says that I was born with this hole, it helped feed me when I was in her tummy. Her explanation scares me even more. I have no memory of being in her tummy and I don't like that idea at all. At any rate, it hasn't been easy processing this news. I've needed to be held and when my mom says she can't do it, I cling to her leg and groan, reminding her that she has a person who has big needs that she can't just ignore while getting dinner. At night, it's worse and I imagine things in the dark. This makes it more difficult for me to sleep and wakes me up when it's still dark. Of course, my mom can solve this disturbance so I go sleep with her. On her pillow. So our cheeks are touching. I need her that close. Tonight should be really bad because my dad's gone. I'll definitely need her cheek tonight. Definitely.

Later,

lil' e

She stole my heart -- Big E

My mom went away for a whole week in a place called Taos. I've never been there and no matter how much I begged and told her she was robbing me of an educational experience, she refused to take me. So far, she's only managed to send me these two pictures of the sunset.

 

 

Well she has called every night but sometimes she interrupts what we're doing, like eating our third dessert for the day because Grammy loves to take us to Grounds Cafe and give us chips and a muffin and then other unmentionable treats because I don't want to get her in trouble with my mom, who is a no chips, Grounds Cafe only every couple of weeks and only one dessert person. Having Grammy with us has definitely been a highlight.

The problem is my mom stole my heart when she left. I want it back and it will only come back to me when she returns which is still three more days. I'm quite upset at her, stealing my heart so I thought I'd highlight one of her more brilliant outings we did this winter.
Ice skating....

 

Notice the grass and palm trees in the background. They don't grow in snow. She took me ice skating outside in FAKE ice!!! You got it, fake ice! It was the most awful surface and we and three other families asked for our money back. She has yet to take me again to a real ice rink (we have one five minutes from our house, indoors) but she better when she gets back!

Waiting for my heart,

Big E

 

My last post failed to show my fabulous letter 'e.' So I'm including it here...Sorry for any confusion with my post. I was way too busy figuring out life to notice it the first time.

I wanted to give you a few ideas of things that I've figured out so far (but am always on the lookout for more...maybe you can post things to me and I'll check them out.)

1. small levers on the inside of my car door allow me to open the door while the car is moving.

2. I cannot reach the garage door opener by the laundry door. No tool, chair, or stool has allowed me to reach it. So, when it was time to get the mail on my tractor, I went outside in my dad's car, which he never locks, and pushed the garage door opener in his car. I couldn't help but be pleased when my dad came rushing out the front door only to find me on my way to the mailbox. As soon as I can figure out how to put the key in our mailbox, I won't even need him to go with me!

3. Turning the button on the stove creates fire! When I get older, I'm going to cook pancakes!

4. Pop-Up books that have electronics are extra special with ripping paper as an added sound.

5. Whatever you drop off the balcony falls to the ground.

6. If I want to get back at my mom, I just need to pick my scab!

Later,

lil' e

I do NOT like Underwear! -- lil' e

My room has been getting a complete makeover, thanks to the amazing guidance of my Aunt Kennan. She found this elephant for me, which I LOVE. Initially, it was right above me, which I did not like. My mom assured me that it would keep away any unfriendly dragons at night. However, this did not convince me that the elephant was NOT in fact the dragon. If you look at its long tusks and low hanging nose, then you could appreciate what it would look like in the shadows of my night light -- down right scary! So, my mom moved it over and it's very cool. Thank goodness it's a friendly elephant or I might be afraid of it.

 

Can you believe this 'e' my aunt found???? It is an 'e' just like my name. Everywhere I go, my 'e' is there. Now I have one in my room. I wanted my mom to hang it on the wall (where she uses my hammer and makes lots of noise). However, she insists that it looks way better on my brand new bookshelves. These things, and many more things, are all mine and Issy can't take them! Besides, she can't have a little 'e', she needs a big one.

 

Listen, I'm really over underwear. Who wants to stop what they are doing and go to the bathroom? Who wants to get cold while pulling down one's pants and sitting on a cold toilet seat? Who wants to even go through the motions of pulling down one's pants because then you have to take the time to pull them back up AND wash your hands. Believe me, diapers are way, way simpler. You can go to the bathroom many times without pulling your pants up and down AND you don't have to stop and wash your hands -- or stop playing. I can essentially go to the bathroom without stopping anything I'm doing. It's miraculous. They really need to make them in bigger sizes. My mom says, I've gotten too big for diapers but I keep telling her that I'm tiny and need them.

She's not really getting it when she makes me wear underwear. She doesn't get that I hate to stop what I'm doing and go. She doesn't understand that no amount of chocolate or new toys will get me excited enough to want to stop what I'm doing and go to the bathroom. She doesn't understand that I really hate cleaning up the wet mess when I forget I have underwear and not a diaper. She also doesn't get that I hate having one more thing to remember. I'm trying to figure out how to do everything that I want to do and get everything I want to get. Wearing underwear, just complicates this issue of learning! Maybe someday she'll get it and give up on chasing me around the house every morning trying to put on my underwear. For now, I'll scream for my life when I see her coming. Maybe when I'm big, I can figure out how to put on my own diaper.

Later,

lil' e

To the Snow and Beyond! -- Big E

My mom was absolutely brilliant in her birthday request this year -- to go to the snow. And go to the snow, we did! It snowed so much that it took us five hours to get up to our destination, which on paper was only 2.5 hours away. Every morning we woke up to FRESH snow. It snowed 14 inches while we were there. We even had to shovel out our driveway. Well, my mom did anyway. I keep telling my mom that it isn't fair she got to grow up in the country and I'm adding to my list of unfair things that she got to grow up in snow! Lil' e and I love snow. We had so much fun making snowmen. I've included a couple of pictures for you. This was Saturday's snowman, which got destroyed by lil e about half way through the day.

 

This snowman was from Sunday, which we made with our dad. He was a great sport at watching us while my mom went snowboarding all day. Besides, he's adventurous and took us sledding and had snowball fights with us.

 

Here's an angel I made with my mom right before we played tag. The vacation was so good. Lil' e even cries when he sees the snow on the mountains and Mom tells him we can't go there right now. It's so cute when he cries. I try to feel bad but I just can't. How cute is it that he cries because we can't go back to our "Big Bear Home." He just doesn't get things yet.

 

So, we're back and I've been in school. This is the thing, stuff keeps happening at school and I don't like it. This library book disappearance has got to stop. We are still missing one of my books and the librarian will only allow me to check out one book. So last week, the one book I checked out got wet. My water bottle spilled on it. I was horrified and the librarian was mad. She told me I'd damaged a book and I'd lost another one so I wouldn't be able to check out any more books.

I'm ruined! How can I spend the next three months going to the library and not getting any books? I'll have to sit at a table by myself. Or I'll have to pretend I'm looking for a book to check out. Worse yet, I don't get to read Geronimo Stiller!!!! I LOVE these books. I don't want to play on Webkinz when I'm reading these books. Of course, my mom is too busy to get me these books from the library so when oh when will I ever get to read these books?

My second grade year is ruined. I'm going to be sick every Monday so I can avoid that librarian. Imagine, a librarian keeping students from reading. How crazy is that?

Forever Ruined,

Big E

Bumper Bodies -- lil' e

I love going on adventures with my mom. There are so many cool things to see in the world. One of my favorites is a clothing store for kids. They have a play area where she leaves me while she shops. Last week, I made the most fabulous discovery. They had an 'e' on the floor! This was not just any 'e,' this was an 'e' that could be picked up because it was in a square foam. Unfortunately, the 'e' was under a gate so I needed to undue all the other pieces of foam in order to get it. You can imagine my disappointment when I ran through the store with a smile on my face, yelling "Here's an 'e'! Here's an 'e'!" and my mom said in a very serious voice, "Where did you get that?" without even acknowledging the amazing 'e' I'd found. Long story short, she said to the lady behind a counter, "I'm so sorry about the floor." before I was whisked away to the car with no acknowledgement that I'd even recognized an 'e'! Luckily, she's been much more receptive as I've pointed out every 'e', I've seen since. I'm so lucky because there are a lot of 'es' in this world!

There were two 'es' in the restaurant I ate at last night with my parents. Issy wasn't with us, she had gymnastics. This restaurant better than my swing set! We got to sit in a corner seat that had an 'L' shaped bench. On this bench, I could stand. Better than standing, I could slam into my mom, bounce off in the direction of my dad, then slam into him and go back to my mom. It was an incredible back and forth game. Bumper bodies was so fun until my dad began threatening me with early bedtime and no dessert. I didn't want to get into with him so I changed games -- Piggy backs. This turned into a game that was just as fun. I could jump on my mom's back everytime she leaned over to take a bite since we were all sitting on the bench and the wall was behind us. I could really make us rock when I put my feet up against the wall and shoved. My dad's back wasn't quite as fun because I couldn't get my feet as high on the wall and he didn't move as much as my mom either. After this much activity, I was hot so I threw my jacket and sweatshirt over the table and onto the floor so it wouldn't get in the way of bumper bodies. After much discussion about why throwing my clothing over the table wasn't smart after all, I layed down and did bicycle legs, "accidentally" kicking my mom with each pedal.

As you can imagine, I was not happy when our food came. Who wants to stop all this fun activity to eat? Definitely not me. My dad didn't see it that way. He grabbed me and made me sit down. Out of protest to his lack of respect for my desires and my body, I screamed and yelled until he let me go. We reached an agreement that I could stand up. Then the dragon visited and he began to growl from within me. It wasn't my fault I turned into a dragon but my mom made it clear that I wasn't getting any dessert until I told the dragon to go back home and sit down to eat my dinner. When I saw the picture of the chocolate cake she had ordered, I knew I'd have to give in and eat. She doesn't mess around with these sorts of things. No amount of yelling, biting or hiting ever phases her.

Eating my food was worth it. The chocolate cake was AMAZING! It even had chocolate chips in it. I admit disappointment when my parents wouldn't let me eat the big hunk of fudge off the top and more disappointment when I cried about being still hungry and they offered rice and pita bread rather than more cake. Of course, I passed. My tummy only had room for cake, not worthless carbohydrates! Please.

I can't wait until we go there again. Those Greeks know how to create the perfect restaurant environment!

Later,

lil' e