Cousins and Fun! -- Big E

 This is a picture of me in my Papa's smokejumper uniform. I can't wait to see him again and visit his kittens!!!!

I'm so excited! I just spent the weekend with my cousins. We had sooo much fun. I NEVER even went to bed the whole time. We got to go to the beach all day while my Mom and Aunt Lisa were gone. We went to IHOP TWICE!!! Then on the third day my Dad made me chocolate chip pancakes. It was the best! We went to Chuck E. Cheese where I made lots of points. AND we got to go to frozen yogurt really late at night.

After everyone left, it was a real drag! Only my mom was home. She made me do so many things: work on my math workbooks, read, play piano, AND do Spanish. I got sent into a time out twice for talking to her in a bad tone of voice. How fair is that? Not letting me express my opinion! Huh, I'll show her! I'm going to tell my dad when he gets home. I'm sure he'll talk to my mom. He knows what's it like when she's always so serious. She makes him do the dishes and put away his clothes. He gets how hard it is to live with her.

She hasn't even set up any playdates for me yet. And she never cares that I can't fall asleep. I tell her about all my body aches, from my finger hurting to me toe. She just says, "I'm sorry it hurts. Now go back to bed." She's not sorry! She doesn't care! If she cared, she'd let me sleep in her bed with her and Daddy. But she doesn't care! She definitely likes Lil' E more than me!!! He doesn't get to sleep in their bed either but at least she picks him up and rocks him. She doesn't do anything for me but send me back to bed.

Enough said, I'm getting depressed just thinking about it. She for sure doesn't like me as much as my brother -- she gave him a name with six letters just like hers and Daddys. Mine is the only one with four! They are all together and I am ALONE. Again.

Anyone need a roommate for the summer? I'm still available.


Big E

Grandpa -- Little E

I've had the best weekend EVER, well at least since last weekend! Grandpa D was here, which means fun. He puts life back into my soul, unlike my mom who never does the most important things that I like. Take Chucke E. Cheese for instance, she hates it. Yet, Grandpa takes me there every single time he comes. (IF only he could visit every week!) I LOVE the pizza and riding on Bob the Builder. I have a smile on my face the whole time. There is no biting, no fighting, and no disobeying! I can thrive to love and be kind; it just takes the right environment! Chuck E. Cheese has it. My house doesn't!

Another thing Grandpa does is feed me appropriate food. He takes me to McDonalds, Carl's Jr, Denny's AND IHOP. IHOP is for breakfast. There, I get a chocolate chip pancake WITH whip cream AND orange juice. (My mom doesn't even give me juice!) This is how to start your day out right!!! My mom makes me eat whole wheat toast AND eggs. She's a real killer to the appetite. If only she wasn't so stubborn and would learn a thing or two from Grandpa who is much older than she is. I would never get crabby and bite, eating food like this. I'm so bugged by her lack of cooperation. How does my mom expect me to learn from her when she isn't taking her own advice and learning from Grandpa?

I kind of feel sorry for my mom because she is always doing work around the house. So to help her out, I decided to help her garden. While the adults were inside playing cards, I went in the backyard to surprise her with my gift. I began by pulling out big sticks that had thick burgundy leaves on them. My mom and I planted them last month so I knew how to handle them on my own. After pulling them up, I proudly showed my Dad, Aunt Lisa, Uncle Cory and Grandpa. They had the weirdest reaction. I got sent to my room for a time out! I was even told that I would get a spanking if I touched them again. Then they just left them on the ground.

Well! I tried to explain that I knew how to pull weeds and plant flowers but they wouldn't listen to me. Later, my mom stuck them back into the ground and she didn't let me help her. I screamed. Then, I stomped my feet in protest, but decided digging in the dirt was more fun than gardening anyway. I filled up buckets with dirt and dumped them on my picnic table, the porch steps and inside my truck. I even found some more cat poop. Dirt is so cool! (Later, my mom let me help her water all the plants -- That was the best!)

I need a nap today --too many late nights of laughing with my cousins. Sleepovers are the best, especially with no parents!

Later,

Lil' E

Mimi, Papa -- Come Home! Little E

 

Mimi and Papa visited me last week. I'm wearing Papa's boots in this picture that he brought for a smokejumper talk. We had a lot of fun. We went to the park, ate lots of brownies, and got lots of snuggle time. Papa threw balls to me and I threw them where ever I wanted. Mimi and I played in the dirt, after we got rid of cat poop hiding in my dirt pile.

I was extremely disappointed when Mimi and Papa left. I didn't want to talk to anyone after we said "good-bye." I was mad. I even called them when they were driving and told them to "come home!" Mimi said they couldn't come back so I tried to bite the phone but my mommy wouldn't let me.

These good-byes are just too hard on me. I hate feeling sad and disappointed so biting helps me feel better. After all, I can only take so much -- good-byes, having to follow the rules, and not being able to do exactly what I want all adds up to a biting afternoon. If only my mom would recognize that I'm only 2 1/2! Then she could see that I just can't handle everything at once and need to be given more brownies to help me with my disappointment in people leaving.

At least sissy has been home! She doesn't have school anymore so she's been teaching me how to do homework. She gave me my own white notebook, paper, and a pencil. We sit down and do homework together. I'm a great writer and can write my name, all the numbers, and pretty much anything I can think of. You should see my "ga-ga's" (helicopters), they are amazing! Yesterday, she read to me in the chair. I got to lean my head on her shoulder while she read SkippyjonJones AND Gorilla goes walking, two of my favorite books.

I also got to dig in my pile of dirt. I found another piece of cat poop so I brought it inside to show my mom and sissy. My mom made me wash my hands after we threw it away. I tried to tell her I was going back outside to play in the dirt but she made me wash them! I wasn't happy about it. Then I wanted my mom to come outside and play with me but she told me she was making dinner. So I came up with a brilliant idea of how to be with her.

I brought in a bucket of dirt and dumped it on the kitchen floor. This made it so that I could be with my mommy AND play with dirt at the same time. Unfortunately, my mom was NOT excited about this. She screamed. Then she swept all the dirt up and dumped it back outside. I was so mad! I wanted to be with her and she was rejecting me. Dumping out my dirt! Sending me back outside! She is crushing my problem solving ability, making me come up with solutions only she thinks or approves of...I will never get to Harvard with her crushing my creativity.

This weekend, more visitors, including Grandpa D.

Am I going to get spoiled!

Later,

Lil' E

Sleeping -- Big E

I am really getting tired of sharing a room with Little E. He screams, "Mommy, Mommy, Daddy, Daddy" for an hour and my mom and dad just let him. It is so annoying. At least they could get him or let me sleep in their room. It is so unfair.

Speaking of sleep, I've figured out how to sleep in their bed...bad dreams. Every morning I go into their bedroom at 5:00 am and let them know I've had a bad dream. They let me snuggle right next to them and I go back to sleep. It is the best. Their bed is so comfortable. It isn't fair that they don't let me sleep with them all night long. They're also not very smart as it would save them having to wake up in the morning and it would save me getting up and walking into their room.

I've had the best few days. My Mimi and Papa visited. They came to my dance recital where I did a hip hop routine. Then they took us out to yogurt even though it was sooo late. I ate the pink lemonade; it was soo good. THEN the next day, they took us to the park AND yogurt again!! They didn't even ask my parents. I went there AGAIN yesterday because my daddy also wanted to go there for Father's Day. I had peach this time and it is my new favorite! It has been the best three days of my whole year. Of course, when I go visit Mimi and Papa in Washington, I will have the absolute bestest days then because they have two new kittens.

Oh yeah, when my Grammy was out last week I got three days of ice cream. You're seeing the pattern here, my mom is such a joy robber when it comes to fun ice cream outings. She never lets us go! Yeah for Mimi, Papa and Grammy!!!

I'm on summer break now. But my mom doesn't realize what summer means. I have to practice my singing, piano, Spanish, math, reading AND writing. Sounds like home schooling to me. It is so wrong. Doesn't she know I'm now in second grade and we shouldn't have to do any work. Of course, I haven't even mentioned all the chores I have to do..put away my clothes, help with the dishes, clean up (even if I didn't make the mess!) and sooo many other things I can't even tell you. It's hard living with someone who doesn't understand what summer is all about.

Anyone want a new summer roommate? I'm not picky as long as you don't scream at night.

Love,

Big E

Biting -- Little E

Yesterday was hard. I got spanked. I couldn't help it. I bit my mom five times and my dad once. It was just too much to process without biting: Grammy's leaving, my mom coming back into my life, the anticipation of Papa and Mimi visiting later this week. I was distressed. My mom needed to let me do what I wanted so I wouldn't be forced to bite her. It wasn't my fault she wouldn't let me kick the cat and pull its tail. If she would have ignored the situation, then no biting would have happened.

It wasn't my fault that sissy wouldn't share her new notebook with me. This required me first to jump on her, then pull her hair and then finally bite my mom as I was going to my time out. Again, if I could have had the notebook all of this would have been avoided.

It also wasn't my fault that I wanted to throw my cereal across the table and on the floor. It was so cool watching it spread across the table, and the sound was so exciting. Joy robber mother put me in a time out for having cereal fun so I just couldn't resist biting her arm as we went into time out. How fair is that with her arm in front of my mouth? What else am I supposed to do with it there?

Then there was the bite because she wasn't letting me eat on the couch, the bite because I wanted to communicate "I love playing with you" as I was climbing on her back for a piggyback ride and for daddy, the bite for sticking me in time out because I was climbing on the back of the couch. (He too, stuck his arm right there to bite!)

If only my parents would see that when I get a spanking, I feel really bad. I hate feeling bad. On top of it all, I have to give a hug, say sorry, say "I love you" and go over why spankings happened. It's a real drag and waste of my time. If they only realized that all of it, the whole cycle, could end with them and their choices. It's not about my decision to bite, it's all about them and their choice to give me a spanking.

I'm sure if they would just let me be as I want and allow me to have what I want, then I will just naturally be transformed into a loving person.

Don't all puppies bite? I'm like that. There is nothing wrong with it. It's in my genetics, which controls me! AND my mom and dad gave me these genes. They need to take some responsibility here!

I want my Grammy.

She gave me what I wanted.

More Grammy! -- Little E

I've been way too busy to post -- Grammy visited! She knows how to love me. The first day she got here, we went for ice cream. I got not one scoop but TWO scoops. Of course, I had to eat my chicken before we went but I NEVER get two scoops with my mom and dad. The second day, I got a new ball and a new truck movie! The third day, we went to the beach (my favorite place) and played in the sand. I got all wet and shivered. The next day, we did whatever I wanted...played with trucks, cards, went for a walk.

Grammy visited because my mom had to work for four days. After the second day, I told my mom, "Mommy more work! More Grammy!" I was extremely disappointed when we took her to the airport last night. I screamed "MORE AIRPORT" as we drove away. Today, I told my mom while we were playing Cariboo, "All done. Mommy all done? More work?" I don't think she got my hint -- I want Grammy, not her.

I'm very upset Grammy is not here anymore. She's left me with mommy. Mommy is NOT fun. I can't get into snacks and eat them whenever I want. She makes me sit at the table to eat. She doesn't let me throw my food! She makes me pick up my toys after I play with them. (REALLY! I'm only two!!!) And worst of all, when I ask in a nice tone of voice -- with please -- I don't necessarily get what I want!!! This is very troublesome. If soft please doesn't get it, then I scream, "PLEASE" in case it was a hearing problem or "not attending to me" issue. If that doesn't work, I stomp my foot and say it more. Shockingly, I may not get what I want. Or if I do, I have to say it nicely (as if I didn't in the beginning!!!).

Grammy would never have this. She understands that saying please is sooo hard to remember that she gives me what I'm asking for just because I remembered to say please.

I want more Grammy. I didn't bite her once.

Later,

Little E

Bagels, NOW! - Big E

I don't know what happens to bagels in our house. On Monday, we went to Costco and bought TWO bags of bagels. By today, they were all gone. This is so wrong! I asked my mom, "Who ate them all?"

Her answer, "I don't know."

I don't know! What kind of answer is that? If she doesn't know then who does? I think my daddy took some to work. Doesn't he know I LOVE them for my snack? Why should he be able to take some to work when I LOVE them! This is really awful. Who wants toast for a snack? Sure I used to love toast and butter but toast is so yesterday. Next time, I'm going to take my own money so I can buy my own bagels.

I am needing some serious help with my Mom. She is always apologizing for her bad tone of voice - after she has been rude, of course. When she asks me to do something, she really has a hard time asking nicely. She uses a bad tone of voice, especially if Little E isn't listening to her words, which he can do quite often. He gets so much attention. You would think she could at least be nice to me. She doesn't even see me the whole day, then when I get home she tells me to do things. She doesn't even sit down to eat my snack with me. How nice is that?
My self-esteem has been completely bruised. Boy is she going to have to pay when I need therapy!

Then there is the issue of her always hurrying me up to get ready for school in the morning. And, what is she doing? She's on the computer of course. First thing in the morning she goes straight for that computer. It is so boring at the computer. She doesn't seem to notice that I'm eating ALONE, by myself. Who wants that? How rude of her to not come and sit by me! Like I said, my self-esteem is in the pits! No thanks to her.

I did have one shining moment this week when My Uncle B, from the SB Hood, came to visit. He is so silly. He tickled us, did curl ups (using us as weights) and then he did a shoulder press with me. I asked my mom to do it the next day and she said "No." I said, "just try it." She said, "No."

I'm definitely going to go live with Uncle B from the Hood because that cool cat knows how to have fun. Especially with me and Little E! My parents are so old and tired. They are no fun at all.

It's tough being seven. When I'm a mom, I'm definitely going to sit at the table with my children when they eat and I'm for sure going to let them sleep in my bed!

Grammy's visit is up next! I'm sure I'll get some ice cream! And have fun with her, of course! Little E and I can't wait!

Big E

Pull-UPs!

 
I've graduated to Pull-ups! This is a picture of my dog, Woof, Woof, riding in our Pull-Up Train. Only people with pull-ups can ride, and their dogs of course!

Potty training is SOO GOOD. I get chocolate chips for going pee-pee in the potty. Let me tell you how to do it to maximize the number of chocolate chips you can get. First, you go pee pee but make sure it all doesn't come out. Then you eat your chocolate chips, drink some water and wait maybe five minutes. Shout "Pee-Pee" and run to the potty. Then go pee-pee some more. Repeat the cycle as many times as you can get away with it, always drinking more water in between. My dad says grunting helps it come out. I do it. You too can try this at home. Here, it isn't how much you go in the potty; it's the sitting and having some come out that matters. Go get those chocolate chips -- drink water and keep some in!!!!

Another discovery I've made is who needs to get out of bed in the morning to go pee-pee. Just pull off the diaper, aim at shark, and you've gone pee-pee and your shark has "wa-wa" to play in. Everyone's happy. Well, my dad wasn't too happy with me. He said I'd get a spanking the next time I did it. Shark was happy. I just growled.

I'm finding new depths to my creativity. My secret -- wait until Mom is on the phone or in the bathroom. I have discovered orange juice mixed with toast makes the best mountain. It can become balls of hail when thrown on the floor. (Mimi and Grandpa get hail this size where they live.) Ink drawings on chocolate leather looks amazing. It is subtle art, not that contrasty thing like my last helicopter drawing on cotton sheets...this is much more subtle. Creates a nice effect but doesn't get noticed right awaay, so you could lose some fans that way. Abstract cereal art has also been amazing. I've done several pieces that I'm proud of. It's easy to do. Grab a handful of cereal, throw at the table. You don't want to aim high because it will go across the table and onto the floor. Aim it down. You're also more likely to get cereal again if it looks like you're a sloppy eater rather than an artist. So many parents don't understand abstract art. Why bother explaining it?

I'm very mad at Issy. She is still rejecting me. I'm growling at her rather than hitting her when she tells me she doesn't want me around. I confess, I still try to grab her hair but her hands are longer than mine and it's difficult to get her when she stiff arms me. Sometimes, I use the delay tactic where she forgets I'm in the room, then I run up and grab. I usually get a time out but it is SO worth it.

My Grammy is visiting me soon. I'm very excited.

Later,

Little E

I Have Fans, Too!

 
I want a new family. I am NOT appreciated. First of all, I am the only one in my family who doesn't have six letters in their name. This is definitely an indication I do not belong! Second, I am treated like hired help. After being in school all day, I have to pick up clothes, put away clean clothes, clean up dishes after dinner, make my bed, and the list can go on and on. I DO NOT get much alone time! AND I do so much more than Little E. He gets to run around and play while I'm working. They love him so much more. I do not belong in this family.

I belong OUT. You can see by my picture, I have fans! Here, I'm signing autographs on the red carpet. This picture was taken at a rare moment when I could get out and be away from my family. This was the MAJOR Hollywood event called 'Jessica's 7th Birthday Party." It was big. Bet you read about it People or US. I was there, with my fans and paparazzi, right along side Jessica -- WHO IS HUGE with tween fans. I didn't even have to be picked up by my mom until the morning. It was bigtime good.

Like I said, living in this family, I'm stifled. Thank goodness all freedoms haven't been taken away. I have way too many restrictions. Who goes to bed at 8 pm anyways! And who has to listen to country music in the car? OR, even worse, have the music off so we actually have to talk with one another. Please! I can't wait to get out.

Oh my goodness, I've got a story to tell you! I was scared at 5 am the other day. I heard unfamiliar noises so I went to get in bed with my mom and dad. Do you think they cared? No Way!!! They sent me back into my bedroom and on top of it all, I got my dessert taken away! I didn't do what they said I did -- wake them up every 10 minutes. I waited in my room for HOURS before going back into their room and asking to get into their bed. It was so ridiculous (ridiculous of the bad kind). I was so scared and they didn't care!! I'm so going to need therapy when I'm older. I hope they have a fund. They're going to have to pay big time.

Thank you for your faithful reading. It helps knowing that I have fans out there who feel me, if you get what I'm saying.

Bestest of Friends,

Big E

The Beach

 

For Memorial Day we went to the beach. I had sooo much fun. The waves were swelling, knocking me down. I jumped and splashed in them. I got some air between the sand and my feet! Next year, I'll probably be able to be surfing, like my friend, Ian's dad. In case you don't know, wet sand is the best to throw. Ian taught me this at the beach. It goes farther than dry sand. But really, I'll throw any kind of sand I can, that is before my mom catches me and shuts that operation down. She can be a real joy robber sometimes.

This reminds me of another throwing operation that got shut down. This weekend, my issy and I were shredding papers for my mom who has been cleaning out her file cabinet. Issy put the paper in and I watched it fall through the clear window in the shredder. It was all going well. We even filled it up once so we opened the drawer and I grabbed my first handful. The paper is so soft and it goes everywhere when you throw it. But my dad told me, "Don't throw the paper, E." Then he took it and threw it away. Well after more shredding, eventually everyone left and went to get dinner ready. Still interested in the paper but not wanting to disobey my dad, I expertly slid out the shredder drawer and turned it over. Paper went all over my feet, it was so light and soft. I couldn't help but jump and kick the pile. All the fun without throwing it! I couldn't contain my squealing or jumping. You can imagine my great surprise when my dad came in and started yelling, "No, No, No, No, E." Maybe he was sad that he didn't get to kick the biggest pile. Whatever the case, we put the paper back in the container together and then we ate dinner.

Just to make sure we were all cool, I ate all my dinner -- as long as the family did the helicopter clap on my demand....you know the clap where you whirl your fingers up and down, like a helicopter and then clap. We do it every night just so I'll eat and get dessert. I really bring the family together.

I love helicopters. They go up and down.

Later,

Little E

Here's My Story -- Big E

Here's my story I promised. I wrote it at school.

I was Happy
by Big E

Last Summer I went to Washington with my family. When I got there I was thinking I was going to have fun because there were 3 kittens! The next day I woke up urly. I sneaked in my mom’s room and put my close on. No one saw me. I went down stairs quitly. I could only hear the comperter. I walked to the front door and put my flip flops on and went out the door. The door ware the kittens sleep was closed so the kittens wouldn’t get eaten by ciotes. It was cold so I ran to the door ware the kittens sleep. I opened and shut the door the white door. I said, “hello Kittens.”

The Kittens woke up. They jumped down and went to go get water and food. I picked up the smallest kitten named Siam. She is my favorite cind of cat. The kind of cat she is is a Siamees cat. She doesn’t like me because she is not youst to me. I picked up another cat that was black. He struggled out of my hands just like Siam did. His name was Max. Then I picked up the 3rd kitten she was white and orange. She did not wiggle on my hands. She was just right. Her name was kind of funny but my cousin made it up. She is vary creative. Her name is Jigbee. I figred Siam was the meanest and Max was in the mittill and Jigbee was the nighsest. I said, “by Kittens.”

I went back into the house. People were still asleep. I looked in the books. I started to read a good book. When I finished I just sat on the couch. I herd I sound coming from my Mimi and Grandpa’s room! Then I saw my grandpa coming out. I whispered, “Hello, Grandpa.”

My grandpa said, “Well hello there.” He said, “Did you look at the Kittens today?” I said, “Yes.”

My grandpa and I looked out the window ware the golf cors was and ware the pond was too. My Grandpa sat in his chair.

When the second last day arrive I went cioty hunting with my grandpa. I got to sit in the front seat. Me and my grandpa didn’t have to be buckled in. We came to a stop there was no ciotes. We went home. My mom and my grandma said, “Did you catch anything?”

We said, “No.”

That is the story when I was very happy.