Urban Farming -- Big E

This alpaca couldn't get enough of my carrots.

 

"Here bunny, bunny, don't be afraid. I won't throw straw on you like lil' e."

 

lil' e's interpretation of feeding the bunnies, looks strangely like covering the bunnies with as much straw as you can before they try to bite you

 

This emu almost took all my fingers grabbing the carrot I held beside my mom's head, at her request, so she could get this picture

 

For Valentine's day my mom wanted to take us someplace special. Me, I wanted to stay home. She wanted us to experience a part of "ruralness." Me, I wanted her to get I was more interested in virtual animals on Webkinz than real ones. In the end, she won. I went.

I admit I was skeptical at first, especially because it took us an hour to get there. But when I saw we actually got to feed the animals and not just look at them, I decided to leave my pout in the car. My mom's bribe for a horse ride wasn't a bad incentive either for me to act delighted.

Our first stop was the bunnies and the guinea pigs. These cute and cuddly animals were neither cuddly or cute once lil' e related with them (by piling straw or lettuce or whatever he could find on their heads). This made petting them a little hairy because I wasn't sure whether they would bite or ignore me. Moving onto the goats didn't help either because lil' e ran and yelled at them, causing them to find less aggressive feeders. The only animals that didn't seem to respond to lil' e were the sheep that looked half-dead. When I asked my mom about them, she authoritatively said the reason they were panting hard with their eyes closed and leaning drunkenly against the fence was because they were hot. When I told her it was in the low 60s, she said maybe they were having a bad day.

Looking at them made me sad. I grew sadder imagining all the animals enduring multiple lil' e's in one day. I told her it really wasn't fair that she got to grow up in the country where animals were allowed to roam and not be in box size pens. Where they could run away from lil' e's and not have to take his overenthusiastic relational style.

Overall, it was a fine time with my mom, especially because we got chocolate chip cookies at the end. This was fter we washed our hands three times...she was a bit overboard, especially with lil' e who liked kissing and licking the fences and when he couldn't do that, he'd lick his hands saying, "I like being sick, Mommy. I like it." Luckily, we were home in time for me to spend time with my pets in Webkinz. They are the only pets my parents will allow me to have, which is really unfair given my mom always had pets growing up, including a baby mouse. I mean, how cute is that, a baby mouse? I think next time I will suggest to my mom that rather than spend money at the petting zoo, we could head down to the pet store and find some cute and cuddly creatures that we can keep. It might take some convincing but once she realizes she won't have to hover around lil' e like she does on our outings, she just may go for it.

Now, that would be a fantastic Valentine's day.

I'm Bigger -- lil' e

I'm bigger. I'm three! When I'm really big, I'm going to touch the ceiling. When I'm really, really big, I'm going to drive our car -- on the FREEWAY!

Some other things I'm excited about when I'm bigger.

When I'm bigger...
I won't get caught swinging my diaper like a lasso, catching my make believe dragon because I'll be remember to not yell while throwing it. \
I'll get to cook -- with fire!
I'll get to sleep with Mommy, without daddy.
I'll get to blow bubbles inside the house because I'll be able to clean up the mess.
No naps!!!!! (Did I mention what a pain naps are?)
I'll be able to change my own diaper with poop and not get in trouble like yesterday when I took off my poopy diaper and some of it got on my bed and the walls.
I'll get to wash my own hair, or choose to not wash it.
I won't get caught writing on the walls with the pen because I'll have the brilliant idea to write on the wall in Issy's room rather than my own.
I'll never need to go to sleep.
I won't get caught throwing my fish sticks on the floor because I'll have a dog who will eat it up for me (like Linen, my cousin's dog).
I'll run so fast, my mom can't catch me when I'm tearing up one of my books.
I'll give bigger hugs and bigger kisses.

I can't wait to be bigger. It's going to be so fun.

Later,

lil' e

Reconsidering -- Big E

So, I'm reconsidering about getting rid of lil' e. He saved me part of his muffin today. How sweet is that? Then there was him asking me to sit by him where he patted the seat and he did seated jumps in his excitement. Then there were his elephant tears (his second favorite animal) when I said I was done playing with him because he wouldn't make a pathway for the animals to walk. That made me feel a little bit bad. Anyways, I'm just saying I'm reconsidering sending him to Arizona...just saying he might be better than cleaning out kitty litter.

For Now,

Big E

lil' e, What to do with him? -- Big E

I love my little brother, there is no mistake about that. However, I don't really know if I should live with him. Two days ago, he went in my room while I was at school and destroyed my favorite erasers. He tore the straps off my purse, the dials off my radio, my flowers off my shoes, and the needle off my record player, all favorite erasers from Grammy at Christmas. You may be asking, where was my mom? Great question. There was something about him sneaking out at naptime but I didn't get the details, only an apology from lil' e. Well last night while we were all getting ready for bed in the bathroom without him, he succeeded in ruining the rest of my erasers in about two minutes. He pulled the candles off my cake, pulled apart my bananas (my absolute favorite!!!), and destroyed the mailbox.

This is the last straw. He will never, never, never be invited in my room again. I'm trying to order a lock for my door with the $36 dollars Grandpa Del Valle gave me but first I need to figure out what store sells them because this is a surprise for my parents.

Lil' e should have to sleep outside! He should be forever banned from the house. He should be sent away. What he's done is outrageous and MEAN. How can my parents let him be so MEAN? I was never like this. They need to figure out how to get him under control. If they can't fix him, I might need to take over -- spanking, no play time, all his toys in time out, these are things that will teach him a lesson. Maybe sending him to live with Uncle Cory would help. He could return once he knows how to respect my things.

I wouldn't miss him! I would find someone else to chase and be dragons, to snuggle with during movies, to laugh at my jokes when my mom is being too serious...I'm sure I would find this in a kitten. A kitten would never scratch or bite, only purr and snuggle. A kitten would never make messes or destroy any of my things. A kitten would follow me everywhere and snuggle with me in bed when I want her to. Forget the lock, I'm going to the animal shelter to find myself a kitten and then I'm going to work on my plan to get lil' e in Arizona, without me, or my erasers.

Overcoming lil' e's total meanness,

Big E

Things I Love and Things I Don't -- lil' e

I LOVE birthdays and brownies. Who knew spitting on food would be socially acceptable?
 

I love my new clubhouse, which is now painted red.
 

I love my new room, which looks nothing like this now.
 

Other the things I love....

1. Making loud chewing sounds while I eat
2. Breathing fire
3. Skipping Naps
4. Pooping in my diaper, not underwear and definitely NOT the toilet
5. Making my food into guns
6. Throwing the folded clean clothes in a pile on the floor.
7. Woof Woof sleeping with me.
8. Going to IHOP with Grandpa Del Valle
9. Skipping naps
10. Singing Jingle Bells everywhere and any time
11. Playing with my dragon ship Grandpa gave me for my birthday
13. Dancing to Boom Boom Pow, just ask Uncle Brian
14. Skipping Naps

Things that frustrate me....
1. Uncle Cory hasn't come to visit me.
2. Eating Cuties that leak all over my chin and pants
3. My mom won't let me eat scoops of butter
4. Uncle Cory hasn't come to see the clubhouse.
5. Grandpa Del Valle left on an airplane today. I want him to come back.
6. I can't go to IHOP until he comes back.
7. I have to take a nap.
8. Uncle Cory hasn't come to visit. I want to see him.
9. My mom won't let me sleep with my bulldozer.
10. I have to wear underwear.
11. I can't eat Mini Wheats for every meal.
12. Uncle Cory still hasn't come to visit me.

Later,

lil' e

House things -- lil' e

My clubhouse is finally done. I can officially write on the walls. Really -- but only with chalk. My mom painted me and Issy's clubhouse watermelon red and put black paint on the walls so we could draw on it. No adults allowed in; otherwise, we can tickle them, bite or pinch them. We rule here, none of their over-the-top rules for us!

There are lots of new sounds at our house. Every time my dad cooks, the smoke detectors go off. This of course is an instant signal that it's okay for me to run around the kitchen island screaming with my hands in the air. Then there is the honking coming from the oven that happens repeatedly when my mom is on the computer. I usually need to go over to her and remind her the oven is honking so she needs to get off the computer and take care of it. I think I'd want to eat more than mini-wheats if she listened to the honking more.

Potty training continues to be an issue between us. I've had to go a bit undercover and not run around so much. I've found a perfect spot under my bed to hide until it's "all come out." However, I've pleased my parents a couple of times this week by going in the potty. They dance and sing and do all this stuff, it's embarrassing. I'm actually considering changing to the potty because that toilet paper is great. You race your hand on the roll and it all spins onto the floor. Then you can grab it and throw it all in the toilet. It makes a huge pile which is so cool. I even know how to change the roll so that someone doesn't get left without paper. I've noted that somehow I'm not getting the privacy I used to get. This is making it very difficult to go in the potty. But under my bed, it's all good.

Later,

lil' e

Growing Up -- Big E

I really can't wait until I'm older. I'll get to have my ears pierced. Make my own money and spend it on whatever I want. Choose when I go to bed and what I watch. I'll get to use MY computer anytime I want to. And most importantly, I'll never, never, never have to have a brother who comes in my room and destroys MY things. Lil' e, doesn't respect my space and he can be very mean. Last night he came in my room and pushed all my animals off my table in 2 seconds. It took me 2 hours to set them up! How Rude!

One thing I like now about getting bigger is borrowing my mom's things. Although I need to get even bigger to wear her clothes and shoes, right now I'm using all her headbands and scarves. The thing is, I make these things cool. My mom would never wear her turquoise and spring green scarf over her forehead with a side pigtail, like a hippie. She'd also never wear big flowered headbands with two pink pony tails out the back. Essentially, she needs me to borrow her things so they reach their full potential. Besides, I'm responsible. I've never lost anything -- this year. That one black scarf that fell off somewhere on the playground and the crimson ceramic ponytail holder that came off when I took off my jacket but I didn't notice -- those were all last year. I've learned. I don't lose anything now. Well there is still the missing library book but that isn't my fault. I never said we should move!

Completely changing topics, Taylor Swift is so amazing. Have you heard her album? I love the one about being so mean. "Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me, And all you're ever gonna be is mean." I sing that to lil' e when he comes into my room without my permission. It helps him feel what I feel when he doesn't respect my space. He tries to hit me when I sing it to him but he should know better than to come in my room uninvited. It's his problem really. Anyways, back to Taylor Swift. Someday I want to be like her. I want to sing and play the guitar. There is the small problem that I don't play the guitar and I absolutely hate to sing in front of people. Not to mention, I sound like a little kid when I sing. But anyways, she looks cool. I want to be like that -- sing songs about mean people. I even have the start of a new song, "And there I was, sitting quietly. And in he came. Pouncing on me and pinching me. I threw him off 'cause nothing gonna get me down."

Until Next Time,

Big E